A lady posted the following profile on a dating service I sometimes access:

--- begin quote

Built in 1955. One owner from 1974-2006. Traditional in style with potential 
for redesign. Structure partially renovated in 2008, with additional 
improvements in progress. Structurally sound, good condition except age 
appropriate wear & tear. Foundation shaken in 2006, but expertly repaired by 
Man Above Foundation Repair & warranted for a lifetime. Circuit breakers 
properly amped. Warning: lights come on brightly & early every morning & dim 
in the evening unless manually controlled. All cast iron plumbing still 
functioning as intended. Sold "as is" subject to minor improvements at 
request of new owner. Prospective purchasers are encouraged to thoroughly 
inspect before entering into a contract.


This fine offering also comes staffed with part-time cook, housekeeper, 
gardener, wait staff, & masseuse. However, she will still maintain her 
career & will require time off for travel, occasional fine dining, theater, 
live music, dancing, church, lounging by the pool or on the beach & spending 
time with family & friends.

Prospective purchasers shall meet the following minimum requirements: Will 
be last-time buyer, credit worthy, physically & fiscally fit & active enough 
to maintain the property in its present or improved condition. Be witty, 
possess a sense of humor & adventure, be articulate, considered a friend & 
family man, a Christian. Indoor pets (especially cats) not readily accepted, 
but will be considered on case-by-case basis--not necessarily a deal maker 
or a deal breaker. Other qualities & compensating factors(*) will be 
reviewed & considered upon request.

Subject is low maintenance & affordably priced. Don't miss this investment 
opportunity of a lifetime. Shown by appointment only.

(*) Compensating factors defined: Buyers that are tall, pictured with their 
kids, parents, grandkids. Buyers that have more meat & muscle than the 
subject property. Buyers that are well connected to family & friends.

UPDATE: Real Estate in Houston is alive & well! Possibly the best way to 
invest your most valuable assets for the greatest return you'll ever know.

--- end quote

I'm going shopping. 

HeyBub wrote:
> A lady posted the following profile on a dating service I sometimes access:
> 
> --- begin quote
> 
> Built in 1955. One owner from 1974-2006. Traditional in style with potential 
> for redesign. Structure partially renovated in 2008, with additional 
> improvements in progress. Structurally sound, good condition except age 
> appropriate wear & tear. Foundation shaken in 2006, but expertly repaired by 
> Man Above Foundation Repair & warranted for a lifetime. Circuit breakers 
> properly amped. Warning: lights come on brightly & early every morning & dim 
> in the evening unless manually controlled. All cast iron plumbing still 
> functioning as intended. Sold "as is" subject to minor improvements at 
> request of new owner. Prospective purchasers are encouraged to thoroughly 
> inspect before entering into a contract.
> 
> 
> This fine offering also comes staffed with part-time cook, housekeeper, 
> gardener, wait staff, & masseuse. However, she will still maintain her 
> career & will require time off for travel, occasional fine dining, theater, 
> live music, dancing, church, lounging by the pool or on the beach & spending 
> time with family & friends.
> 
> Prospective purchasers shall meet the following minimum requirements: Will 
> be last-time buyer, credit worthy, physically & fiscally fit & active enough 
> to maintain the property in its present or improved condition. Be witty, 
> possess a sense of humor & adventure, be articulate, considered a friend & 
> family man, a Christian. Indoor pets (especially cats) not readily accepted, 
> but will be considered on case-by-case basis--not necessarily a deal maker 
> or a deal breaker. Other qualities & compensating factors(*) will be 
> reviewed & considered upon request.
> 
> Subject is low maintenance & affordably priced. Don't miss this investment 
> opportunity of a lifetime. Shown by appointment only.
> 
> (*) Compensating factors defined: Buyers that are tall, pictured with their 
> kids, parents, grandkids. Buyers that have more meat & muscle than the 
> subject property. Buyers that are well connected to family & friends.
> 
> UPDATE: Real Estate in Houston is alive & well! Possibly the best way to 
> invest your most valuable assets for the greatest return you'll ever know.
> 
> --- end quote
> 
> I'm going shopping. 
> 
> 
Excellent!

In article <I...@earthlink.com>, "HeyBub" <h...@NOSPAMgmail.com> wrote:
>A lady posted the following profile on a dating service I sometimes access:
>
>--- begin quote
>
>Built in 1955. One owner from 1974-2006. Traditional in style with potential 
>for redesign. Structure partially renovated in 2008, with additional 
>improvements in progress. Structurally sound, good condition except age 
>appropriate wear & tear. Foundation shaken in 2006, but expertly repaired by 
>Man Above Foundation Repair & warranted for a lifetime. Circuit breakers 
>properly amped. Warning: lights come on brightly & early every morning & dim 
>in the evening unless manually controlled. All cast iron plumbing still 
>functioning as intended. Sold "as is" subject to minor improvements at 
>request of new owner. Prospective purchasers are encouraged to thoroughly 
>inspect before entering into a contract.
>
>
>This fine offering also comes staffed with part-time cook, housekeeper, 
>gardener, wait staff, & masseuse. However, she will still maintain her 
>career & will require time off for travel, occasional fine dining, theater, 
>live music, dancing, church, lounging by the pool or on the beach & spending 
>time with family & friends.
>
>Prospective purchasers shall meet the following minimum requirements: Will 
>be last-time buyer, credit worthy, physically & fiscally fit & active enough 
>to maintain the property in its present or improved condition. Be witty, 
>possess a sense of humor & adventure, be articulate, considered a friend & 
>family man, a Christian. Indoor pets (especially cats) not readily accepted, 
>but will be considered on case-by-case basis--not necessarily a deal maker 
>or a deal breaker. Other qualities & compensating factors(*) will be 
>reviewed & considered upon request.
>
>Subject is low maintenance & affordably priced. Don't miss this investment 
>opportunity of a lifetime. Shown by appointment only.
>
>(*) Compensating factors defined: Buyers that are tall, pictured with their 
>kids, parents, grandkids. Buyers that have more meat & muscle than the 
>subject property. Buyers that are well connected to family & friends.
>
>UPDATE: Real Estate in Houston is alive & well! Possibly the best way to 
>invest your most valuable assets for the greatest return you'll ever know.
>
>--- end quote
>
>I'm going shopping. 
>

Thought you were Jewish...?

HeyBub wrote:
> A lady posted the following profile on a dating service I sometimes access:
> 
> --- begin quote
> 
> Built in 1955. One owner from 1974-2006. Traditional in style with potential 
> for redesign. Structure partially renovated in 2008, with additional 
> improvements in progress. Structurally sound, good condition except age 
> appropriate wear & tear. Foundation shaken in 2006, but expertly repaired by 
> Man Above Foundation Repair & warranted for a lifetime. Circuit breakers 
> properly amped. Warning: lights come on brightly & early every morning & dim 
> in the evening unless manually controlled. All cast iron plumbing still 
> functioning as intended. Sold "as is" subject to minor improvements at 
> request of new owner. Prospective purchasers are encouraged to thoroughly 
> inspect before entering into a contract.
> 
> 
> This fine offering also comes staffed with part-time cook, housekeeper, 
> gardener, wait staff, & masseuse. However, she will still maintain her 
> career & will require time off for travel, occasional fine dining, theater, 
> live music, dancing, church, lounging by the pool or on the beach & spending 
> time with family & friends.
> 
> Prospective purchasers shall meet the following minimum requirements: Will 
> be last-time buyer, credit worthy, physically & fiscally fit & active enough 
> to maintain the property in its present or improved condition. Be witty, 
> possess a sense of humor & adventure, be articulate, considered a friend & 
> family man, a Christian. Indoor pets (especially cats) not readily accepted, 
> but will be considered on case-by-case basis--not necessarily a deal maker 
> or a deal breaker. Other qualities & compensating factors(*) will be 
> reviewed & considered upon request.
> 
> Subject is low maintenance & affordably priced. Don't miss this investment 
> opportunity of a lifetime. Shown by appointment only.
> 
> (*) Compensating factors defined: Buyers that are tall, pictured with their 
> kids, parents, grandkids. Buyers that have more meat & muscle than the 
> subject property. Buyers that are well connected to family & friends.
> 
> UPDATE: Real Estate in Houston is alive & well! Possibly the best way to 
> invest your most valuable assets for the greatest return you'll ever know.
> 
> --- end quote
> 
> I'm going shopping. 
> 
> 


"Sold "as is" subject to minor improvements at request of new owner."? 
Be sure to let us know how the "minor improvements" go :o)

n...@earthlink.net wrote:
> HeyBub wrote:
>> A lady posted the following profile on a dating service I sometimes
>> access: --- begin quote
>>
>> Built in 1955. One owner from 1974-2006. Traditional in style with
>> potential for redesign. Structure partially renovated in 2008, with
>> additional improvements in progress. Structurally sound, good
>> condition except age appropriate wear & tear. Foundation shaken in
>> 2006, but expertly repaired by Man Above Foundation Repair &
>> warranted for a lifetime. Circuit breakers properly amped. Warning:
>> lights come on brightly & early every morning & dim in the evening
>> unless manually controlled. All cast iron plumbing still functioning
>> as intended. Sold "as is" subject to minor improvements at request
>> of new owner. Prospective purchasers are encouraged to thoroughly
>> inspect before entering into a contract. This fine offering also comes 
>> staffed with part-time cook,
>> housekeeper, gardener, wait staff, & masseuse. However, she will
>> still maintain her career & will require time off for travel,
>> occasional fine dining, theater, live music, dancing, church,
>> lounging by the pool or on the beach & spending time with family &
>> friends. Prospective purchasers shall meet the following minimum
>> requirements: Will be last-time buyer, credit worthy, physically &
>> fiscally fit & active enough to maintain the property in its present
>> or improved condition. Be witty, possess a sense of humor &
>> adventure, be articulate, considered a friend & family man, a
>> Christian. Indoor pets (especially cats) not readily accepted, but
>> will be considered on case-by-case basis--not necessarily a deal
>> maker or a deal breaker. Other qualities & compensating factors(*)
>> will be reviewed & considered upon request. Subject is low maintenance & 
>> affordably priced. Don't miss this
>> investment opportunity of a lifetime. Shown by appointment only.
>>
>> (*) Compensating factors defined: Buyers that are tall, pictured
>> with their kids, parents, grandkids. Buyers that have more meat &
>> muscle than the subject property. Buyers that are well connected to
>> family & friends. UPDATE: Real Estate in Houston is alive & well! 
>> Possibly the best
>> way to invest your most valuable assets for the greatest return
>> you'll ever know. --- end quote
>>
>> I'm going shopping.
>>
>>
>
>
> "Sold "as is" subject to minor improvements at request of new owner."?
> Be sure to let us know how the "minor improvements" go :o)

Well, the grounds have lain fallow since 2006, so the property will have to 
be plowed... 

Doug Miller wrote:
> In article <I...@earthlink.com>, "HeyBub"
> <h...@NOSPAMgmail.com> wrote:
>> A lady posted the following profile on a dating service I sometimes
>> access:
>>
>> --- begin quote
>>
>> Built in 1955. One owner from 1974-2006. Traditional in style with
>> potential for redesign. Structure partially renovated in 2008, with
>> additional improvements in progress. Structurally sound, good
>> condition except age appropriate wear & tear. Foundation shaken in
>> 2006, but expertly repaired by Man Above Foundation Repair &
>> warranted for a lifetime. Circuit breakers properly amped. Warning:
>> lights come on brightly & early every morning & dim in the evening
>> unless manually controlled. All cast iron plumbing still functioning
>> as intended. Sold "as is" subject to minor improvements at request
>> of new owner. Prospective purchasers are encouraged to thoroughly
>> inspect before entering into a contract.
>>
>>
>> This fine offering also comes staffed with part-time cook,
>> housekeeper, gardener, wait staff, & masseuse. However, she will
>> still maintain her career & will require time off for travel,
>> occasional fine dining, theater, live music, dancing, church,
>> lounging by the pool or on the beach & spending time with family &
>> friends.
>>
>> Prospective purchasers shall meet the following minimum
>> requirements: Will be last-time buyer, credit worthy, physically &
>> fiscally fit & active enough to maintain the property in its present
>> or improved condition. Be witty, possess a sense of humor &
>> adventure, be articulate, considered a friend & family man, a
>> Christian. Indoor pets (especially cats) not readily accepted, but
>> will be considered on case-by-case basis--not necessarily a deal
>> maker or a deal breaker. Other qualities & compensating factors(*)
>> will be reviewed & considered upon request.
>>
>> Subject is low maintenance & affordably priced. Don't miss this
>> investment opportunity of a lifetime. Shown by appointment only.
>>
>> (*) Compensating factors defined: Buyers that are tall, pictured
>> with their kids, parents, grandkids. Buyers that have more meat &
>> muscle than the subject property. Buyers that are well connected to
>> family & friends.
>>
>> UPDATE: Real Estate in Houston is alive & well! Possibly the best
>> way to invest your most valuable assets for the greatest return
>> you'll ever know.
>>
>> --- end quote
>>
>> I'm going shopping.
>>
>
> Thought you were Jewish...?

Bless 'em all,
Bless 'em all,
The long and the short and the tall...
You'll get no promotion,
This side of the ocean,
Bless 'em all, bless 'em all, bless 'em all. 

HeyBub wrote:
> n...@earthlink.net wrote:
>> HeyBub wrote:
>>> A lady posted the following profile on a dating service I sometimes
>>> access: --- begin quote
>>>
>>> Built in 1955. One owner from 1974-2006. Traditional in style with
>>> potential for redesign. Structure partially renovated in 2008, with
>>> additional improvements in progress. Structurally sound, good
>>> condition except age appropriate wear & tear. Foundation shaken in
>>> 2006, but expertly repaired by Man Above Foundation Repair &
>>> warranted for a lifetime. Circuit breakers properly amped. Warning:
>>> lights come on brightly & early every morning & dim in the evening
>>> unless manually controlled. All cast iron plumbing still functioning
>>> as intended. Sold "as is" subject to minor improvements at request
>>> of new owner. Prospective purchasers are encouraged to thoroughly
>>> inspect before entering into a contract. This fine offering also comes 
>>> staffed with part-time cook,
>>> housekeeper, gardener, wait staff, & masseuse. However, she will
>>> still maintain her career & will require time off for travel,
>>> occasional fine dining, theater, live music, dancing, church,
>>> lounging by the pool or on the beach & spending time with family &
>>> friends. Prospective purchasers shall meet the following minimum
>>> requirements: Will be last-time buyer, credit worthy, physically &
>>> fiscally fit & active enough to maintain the property in its present
>>> or improved condition. Be witty, possess a sense of humor &
>>> adventure, be articulate, considered a friend & family man, a
>>> Christian. Indoor pets (especially cats) not readily accepted, but
>>> will be considered on case-by-case basis--not necessarily a deal
>>> maker or a deal breaker. Other qualities & compensating factors(*)
>>> will be reviewed & considered upon request. Subject is low maintenance & 
>>> affordably priced. Don't miss this
>>> investment opportunity of a lifetime. Shown by appointment only.
>>>
>>> (*) Compensating factors defined: Buyers that are tall, pictured
>>> with their kids, parents, grandkids. Buyers that have more meat &
>>> muscle than the subject property. Buyers that are well connected to
>>> family & friends. UPDATE: Real Estate in Houston is alive & well! 
>>> Possibly the best
>>> way to invest your most valuable assets for the greatest return
>>> you'll ever know. --- end quote
>>>
>>> I'm going shopping.
>>>
>>>
>>
>> "Sold "as is" subject to minor improvements at request of new owner."?
>> Be sure to let us know how the "minor improvements" go :o)
> 
> Well, the grounds have lain fallow since 2006, so the property will have to 
> be plowed... 
> 
> 
Fixher upper, eh?  Look out for termites and rusty plumbing...the 
exterior can appear to be perfect, but the structure ready to collapse. 
    Wonder if it's been resided? :o)

On Oct 10, 6:22=A0pm, "HeyBub"  wrote:
> n...@earthlink.net wrote:
> > HeyBub wrote:
> >> A lady posted the following profile on a dating service I sometimes
> >> access: --- begin quote
>
> >> Built in 1955. One owner from 1974-2006. Traditional in style with
> >> potential for redesign. Structure partially renovated in 2008, with
> >> additional improvements in progress. Structurally sound, good
> >> condition except age appropriate wear & tear. Foundation shaken in
> >> 2006, but expertly repaired by Man Above Foundation Repair &
> >> warranted for a lifetime. Circuit breakers properly amped. Warning:
> >> lights come on brightly & early every morning & dim in the evening
> >> unless manually controlled. All cast iron plumbing still functioning
> >> as intended. Sold "as is" subject to minor improvements at request
> >> of new owner. Prospective purchasers are encouraged to thoroughly
> >> inspect before entering into a contract. This fine offering also comes
> >> staffed with part-time cook,
> >> housekeeper, gardener, wait staff, & masseuse. However, she will
> >> still maintain her career & will require time off for travel,
> >> occasional fine dining, theater, live music, dancing, church,
> >> lounging by the pool or on the beach & spending time with family &
> >> friends. Prospective purchasers shall meet the following minimum
> >> requirements: Will be last-time buyer, credit worthy, physically &
> >> fiscally fit & active enough to maintain the property in its present
> >> or improved condition. Be witty, possess a sense of humor &
> >> adventure, be articulate, considered a friend & family man, a
> >> Christian. Indoor pets (especially cats) not readily accepted, but
> >> will be considered on case-by-case basis--not necessarily a deal
> >> maker or a deal breaker. Other qualities & compensating factors(*)
> >> will be reviewed & considered upon request. Subject is low maintenance=
 &
> >> affordably priced. Don't miss this
> >> investment opportunity of a lifetime. Shown by appointment only.
>
> >> (*) Compensating factors defined: Buyers that are tall, pictured
> >> with their kids, parents, grandkids. Buyers that have more meat &
> >> muscle than the subject property. Buyers that are well connected to
> >> family & friends. UPDATE: Real Estate in Houston is alive & well!
> >> Possibly the best
> >> way to invest your most valuable assets for the greatest return
> >> you'll ever know. --- end quote
>
> >> I'm going shopping.
>
> > "Sold "as is" subject to minor improvements at request of new owner."?
> > Be sure to let us know how the "minor improvements" go :o)
>
> Well, the grounds have lain fallow since 2006, so the property will have =
to
> be plowed...

You misread that.  Read it again.  Hint: The Man Above...

R

"HeyBub" wrote

>A lady posted the following profile on a dating service I sometimes access:
>
> --- begin quote
>
> Built in 1955. One owner from 1974-2006. Traditional in style with 
> potential for redesign. Structure partially renovated in 2008, with 
> additional improvements in progress. Structurally sound, good condition 
> except age appropriate wear & tear. Foundation shaken in 2006, but 
> expertly repaired by
(snips)
> --- end quote
>
> I'm going shopping.

LOL! 

n...@earthlink.net wrote:
>>
>> Well, the grounds have lain fallow since 2006, so the property will
>> have to be plowed...
>>
>>
> Fixher upper, eh?  Look out for termites and rusty plumbing...the
> exterior can appear to be perfect, but the structure ready to
>    collapse. Wonder if it's been resided? :o)

Know what you mean, know what you mean. Here's one I saved from the old 
austin.forsale newsgroup.

--- begin quote

I would like to procure one old oar. Free would be wonderful, but I'm 
willing to pay a small amount' [I guess the guy was tired of rowing in 
circles]

Reply:

You used to be able to find old oars at your neighborhood oar house, but the 
city closed most of those years ago.

Your best bet, currently, is to check dark street corners in the early 
evening.

Sometimes an old oar is painted over to make it look like a new oar. This 
deception is easily detectable in strong light. You can also test for 
old/new by taking a test stroke or two.

Unsuspecting oar seekers sometimes find themselves up a creek with paddle 
instead of an oar. Be careful.

Good luck in your quest.

--- end quote